IF JESUS KEPT A JOURNAL
 If Jesus Kept a Journal       Jesus Christ, 15 AD   Today was a good day. I sneaked away  to the cave and lit a bush on fire so I could communicate with my  father. I’m not sure why I even bother telling Him things because He  already knows them… I guess I just like hearing his voice. Today I asked  Him if it would be alright for me to start practicing my miracles… AND  HE SAID YES!!! XD He says I need a lot of practice before I go taking it  public because nobody would believe I’m the son of God if I screwed one  up. Also, I’m pretty sure he wants to preserve his reputation… so I  started practicing on sheep. It’s a good thing shepherds are already so  far away from towns because if people witnessed what I was doing to  these sheep PETA would be at my doorstep in a matter of days. For those  of you who don’t know, PETA is an organization created by Satan for  animals because he thinks it hilarious that they should have a place in  heaven, too. HA HA SATAN, very funny…   So my first m...